Chapter 27: What I’ve Learned So Far

Lessons learned in my twenties, from embracing change to navigating uncertainty.

At the end of last year, I turned 27. To many under the age of 25, this number sounds like a death sentence.

The second that I utter the words “I actually turned 27 recently…”, you can see the same cocktail of surprise, horror, and somewhat disbelief in their eyes. (Can you blame them, really? I’d now qualify for the “Over 25s” on The X Factor, and 11-year-old me would be utterly mortified).

Funnily enough, 21-year-old me would have also recoiled at the idea of being 27. Back then, it signified the imminent arrival of your 30s, which essentially meant planning your own funeral. That mere six-year gap, albeit very small in the grand scheme of things, felt like the difference between carefree youth and having the grim reaper arrive at your doorstep.

Having finally arrived at chapter 27, I can happily announce that none of that dread turned out to be true. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Over the past few years, I’ve continued to learn and grow in ways I never expected. That’s the beauty of your twenties; it’s the decade where you stumble, grow, fail, and figure yourself out, all at the same time.

Here’s three key lessons that 27 years have taught me so far, and why they might just resonate with you too.

1. It’s okay to not have everything figured out.

In your early twenties, you’re essentially in your toddler years of adulthood. It’s totally normal to feel lost, uncertain, and confused about pretty much everything – that’s just part of the package.

I’ve often found myself thinking that I’m falling behind, or that I’m not living up to the unwritten standards we seem to set for ourselves in our early twenties. Post-Covid, I was 22, working in hospitality and sitting on a degree I feared I would never get the chance to use. In the moment, it’s so easy to feel like you’re going to be stuck forever, and the future you imagined for yourself is completely out of reach. Looking back, I realise I never allowed myself any grace, despite the fact that we were literally navigating a global pandemic at the time.

Fast-forward six years, and I’m in a different city, in my second corporate job, and working in a field that I can confidently call my own. It goes to show that life can change so fast, and often in ways you never see coming.

So, that plan you’ve set for yourself in your head? Most often than not, that plan isn’t necessarily meant for you – and there’s something even better on the horizon.There’s so much value in patience, persistence, and staying open to new opportunities, even when you don’t see a clear path forward.

2. Trust the process of becoming.

One of the best parts of becoming older is the continuous ‘glow up’ you’ll face without even realising it. You’ll shed old versions of yourself like layers: all of a sudden, you look different, you feel different, and you think different. One day, you glance back on your younger self and they seem like someone else entirely.

You learn so much about yourself over the years. Your passions, your values, your strengths. You’ll notice the quiet confidence that starts to settle in, the boundaries you begin to set, and the small decisions that feel easier because you trust yourself more.

Physically, you’ll notice changes too, from the way you dress to the way you carry yourself. It could be the way your posture shifts when you walk, the way your style reflects who you are today, or even just the small, almost imperceptible ways your energy changes. The outside often begins to mirror the inside: stronger, more self-assured, and more comfortable in your own skin.

What’s even better is that these changes never really stop; you are constantly meeting new versions of yourself as you change and grow. Olivia Dean’s track Lady Lady captures this feeling perfectly:”She's always changing me without a word // And I was just, I was just getting used to her.”

It’s so exciting to think about discovering the person you’re yet to become.

3. Take a break from the feed.

We’ve heard it all before: “Comparison is the thief of joy” (cue eye roll). And yet, somehow, we keep falling into an endless doom scroll of curated Instagram feeds and highlight reels that we compare to our very real and very messy lives.

One important lesson I’ve learnt is that it’s okay to take a step back from it all. We live in a world that’s always online, and sometimes it’s hard to tell where the performance ends and the real world begins. Taking a break from social media doesn’t have to mean going cold turkey. Personally, I like to challenge myself to lower my screen time – usually by scrolling less on TikTok, taking a break from Instagram, or simply putting my phone down.

Whether it’s a short detox or a longer hiatus, giving yourself some space from constant comparison can do wonders for your wellbeing. A little privacy goes a long way too – it allows you to focus on your own growth, your own timeline, and what truly matters to you, and all without the pressures of curated perfection.

It’s not about escaping the digital world completely (after all, both my career and hobby are based in the digital space); it’s about reclaiming your mental space and finding balance. And when you do, you start to see your progress for what it is, rather than through the lens of someone else’s journey.

And so…

Over time, I’ve come to realise that no one truly has it figured out , even if it looks like they do. No matter how accomplished or Insta-worthy someone’s life appears, everyone is navigating their own uncertainties and struggles behind the scenes.

It turns out “fake it till you make it” applies to far more of adulthood than I ever expected. And this mantra isn’t simply about pretending, but about trusting yourself enough to keep going while you figure things out. There’s an underlying pressure to have a ten-year plan mapped out, when in reality, taking it day-by-day is more than enough while you continue to navigate your own path.

And no, life doesn’t stop at 25 – even if you decide to start over. If I could speak to my 21-year-old self, I’d tell her to slow down and stop putting so much pressure on herself. Life changes fast, and what is meant for you will never pass you by. (I’d also tell her to sort her eyebrows out, but that’s a life lesson in itself.)